Raising Respectful Children (pt 1)

I'm currently reading Raising Respectful Children in a Disrespectful World by Jill Rigby. The book was given to me a few years ago as a gift. It's not a bad book but the author does have a tendency to get overly religious and preachy in spots. I'm nearly done with chapter 3 and have already found some really useful bits.
In chapter 3, the author talks about the different ages/stages and how a parent should "lead" during those stages. She, also, talks about different questions children are seeking out during those stages. I like this bit.
I want to share some of the things she says.

Ways to discipline with love:
Speak in a firm voice without sarcasm
Say to your child "I love you too much to allow you to..."
Don't berate your child, but correct the misdeed
Don't lose your temper
Turn a negative situation into a positive situation

What should authenticity look like:
Be the same on the inside as you appear on the outside
Don't say one thing and do another
Be honest in your business dealings
Don't show hypocrisy

Connecting with your teen:
1. Allow your child to experience consequences of poor choices.
2. Allow mistakes to mold character.
3. Ask thought-provoking questions.

Helping your teen succeed at being in charge of their life:
1. Put teens in charge of developing their own talents.
2. If you haven't given cooking lessons yet, this is the time to start.
3. Ask your teen's opinion on current events.
4. Encourage decision making.
5. When mistakes are made, don't rescue your teen; instead, help them resolve the problem.
6. Help teens develop goals and develop a method to accomplish those goals; then step back and watch.
7. Wait to be asked your opinion.

I have a problem being a very hands on parent that I forget to step back and let Xavier take the initiative. It's a tough balancing act with him because if we completely step back then he's not able to fully step up. I am learning to teach him how to self regulate but then I'm still working on that with my husband (apparently I have taken on way too much responsibility with them and they forgot how to do it).
I think it's a problem with mom's in general. We have a tendency to be efficient and then take over everything without thinking about the consequences. My mom was one who always cut our meat. It wasn't because she didn't think we could cut our own but it was her way of making sure everyone got a fair share of the meat. When I was an adult, I didn't know how to cut my meat and the first dinner date I made I cut the meat in the kitchen (poorly) and brought the plates out. That was how it was growing up. We eventually all learned how to cut our steaks in public with no embarrassment but it's just a reminder of all those little things we learn growing up.