Sent to prison

I may not win a mother of the year award but I have faith that I am doing what is in the best interest of my child. Recently, Xavier's behavior has been getting out of hand. I have had to do some serious soul searching to understand, not only what is happening but how to proceed. We've been discussing the Feingold diet and other therapy options but haven't gotten to that place where we have actually started to do anything. A few weeks ago, Xavier stole money from his grandfather. The bill was a 1930-something $10 which didn't look like normal money. We talked to our bank who had us turn the money over to the police in case it was counterfeit. Because of this, we had an interesting story to share with friends and family. The police called us to say it was real and we could have it back. Before we could pick it up, my father had realized it was his. That was the first sign that we needed to step up our parenting.
Xavier's counselor had suggested to my husband that it was time to put Xavier on medication. He'd been taken off all meds last summer so I wasn't ready to jump on that bandwagon again (more on that later). I started researching but the information is so overwhelming that I was struggling with coming up with a real plan (we're talking over the last two weeks so it's not been that long).
Come Saturday, we're at a retreat with the Scouts. Rob and I had to run an errand while the boys were working on a quick service project before starting all the fun. We come back and I watch the boys work their way through group problem solving activities. The leader pulls me aside to inform me that Xavier and another boy had broken out the windows of a canopy instead of working on the service project. Fortunately, someone had caught them before they got to too many of the windows. The canopy's owner is a therapist that works with high risk children so I was glad that we had someone who understood Xavier (and had worked with him in the past). However, I was stuck with this problem. Xavier could afford to pay his part of the damage but he wouldn't learn anything. It was too much to ask this man to come up with a punishment on top of the money. We talked with him about having Xavier work off part of what he owed but we wanted the owner to get a fair deal as well. He agreed to look at the damage and get back to us. Meanwhile, how do we, as parents, deal with this in a manner that will mean something to Xavier.
I came up with a solution. Xavier had a few consequences - one he was to go to church. For most people, going to church is not a consequence and wouldn't understand how this came to be. For us, we have never attended church as a family. I wanted to teach my son about God and give him exposure to as many religions as I could so that one day he could make an informed decision about his faith, instead he declared that he didn't believe in God and refused to listen to any one talk about faith. My husband has been mad at God for so long he hadn't been to a church since his youth. I opted to take them to the church of my childhood and the same church my father has returned to. I don't expect anyone to convert but I want a religious education for my son and a chance to meet other boys who at least pretend to have good morals during the church activities.
The second is we sentenced my son to "prison". After church he was sent to his grandfather's house for a last taste of freedom. During that time, I removed all his toys and things from his room. I left his clothes, bedding, a clock, a radio and all the stuff on his wall. I felt he needed things to negotiate with. After school, he goes to his "cell" until dinner and then returns to his cell. He can check out books from the "library" but only one at a time. He can earn family tv time but most of his time should be spent in his room. He has earned back 1 stuffed animal and can exchange it for others if he's good. The goal is to reward his good behavior with the return of his privileges.
We, also, began an herbal regimin that we had been doing before. He takes 2 lobelia and 1 melatonin each night with supervision.
I have noticed something in the short time we've been doing this. He goes to bed much easier and seems to sleep better. We've started using his alarm clock and he's able to get himself up in the morning. This morning he got up before the clock went off. Before we were fighting with him to stay in bed at night and then fighting with him to get up (he was also getting up in the night to watch tv).
I look forward to seeing how this plays out. Meanwhile we are starting to prepare our house for a switch to the Feingold Diet (more on that later as well).
Check out his cell: